As we all know the world is coming to an end on Friday. As I was tidying up my blog I realized not only have I been counting down Gustavo’s farewell party (I named my bunion…it was the only acceptable agreement we could come to) but I was also counting down to Doomsday. So I’m hoping all those Doomsday preppers out there haven’t been using my blog as a calendar because unlike those smart Mayans I have the wrong date.
On to this end of the world talk. There are many rumors as you all have probably heard the most popular being a mysterious planet is going to collide with Earth and we will implode. NASA has denied the existence of this planet so that means we’re safe from that world ender. If you’re very suspicious though you might think like my friend who said NASA wouldn’t tell us if there was a planet because of the mass panic that would follow such a statement. He has a good point…
Then there is the other side which says because of the existence of leap year the Mayans didn’t calculate correctly and in fact the true date was August 2011. This must mean that we’re living in a LOST-like fantasy and have no idea the world really ended a year ago.
Either way there are extreme Doomsday preppers. They’re stocking up, training, making underground safe houses. The whole shebang. You know they’re famous because they have their own show. That has apparently been on 2 seasons. (Where have I been that I never knew this show existed?) A group of co-workers and I have decided to join the opposite group. The Doomsday Looters. While all the preppers are hiding out under the surface we’re going to battle the zombies (more to follow below) to get to the empty houses and start looting. It’s every man for themselves here; I’ve got no time for the law when it comes to surviving the zombie apocalypse.
And that’s what it’s all about. Because it’s not a question of if but when. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the preppers are probably to blame for starting the zombie civilization. All the testing and training probably infected one or two and it spreads like wildfire from there.
Lucky for W and myself (and our friend NonstickBarley!!) we ran from zombies over the summer so we’ve got this down. And technically since we didn’t survive and became “zombies” we should be able to disguise ourselves in the throngs of undead.
Now if we get real about the situation W and NB are safe. I, unfortunately, will be crippled therefore probably the first one to be eaten. What was I thinking scheduling foot surgery the day before Doomsday?!?! I just made myself vulnerable to any sort of chaos that may ensue!! I will have my handy dandy crutches (they’re pink…but I’ll post about that later this week 😉 ) and some heavy duty prescription meds. My plan is to coax the zombie to eat laced body parts (that I will find strewn about) then whack them over the head with my crutches. I’m not sure how far I’ll get with this plan but if anyone has better options I’ll make a note of it and call it plan B.
So on that note I leave you with the ultimate question. Will you embrace the dark side and become a looter while fighting in the greatest apocalypse ever? Or will you go underground oblivious to the bedlam above you, only to emerge years later and find the world is still being run by zombies? Either way they’re coming.
***It just so happens I had time tonight to finish this post. My sidenote from the previous post still stands.****